Scott McPherson's Web Presence

My blogsite has been silent for the past few days, as I had to rush out of town and only now have returned to the Golden Keyboard.  My drive from Miami to Tallahassee was full of potentially whimsical and penetrating commentary regarding the recent book release from our favorite foreign health minister, Siti Fadilah Supari of Indonesia (pictured). 

All of this started with a phone call this past Tuesday from my good friend Sharon Sanders, founder of Flutrackers.com.  Sharon tipped me off regarding the release of the Supari book, which blames the United States military-industrial complex, the pharmaceutical cartel, President George W. Bush, the Andromedan galactic government, Lee Harvey Oswald, Britney Spears, steroids and global warming for the collective failure of her nation's government to contain H5N1. 

And just when I had penned a tome worthy of such a supremely ridiculous book premise, along comes the Indonesian government to sabotage my initiative by acting sanely!  Damn them, anyway!

You see, back in January, 2007, Indonesia stopped sending human H5N1 samples to the World Health Organization.  The government's reasons were locked in some strange logic vault, so it is hard to follow their line of reasoning (if reason factors anywhere in this argument).  Anyway, Indonesian leaders believed that if they withheld their native human bird flu samples from the rest of the world, the rest of the world would capitulate to their demands of free vaccine for all Indonesians!  Plus they would get two front-row seats for the American Idol finale, and ten box seats at Wrigley Field on the first base side (they get to bring their goat).

The WHO responded by saying not even they could get American Idol tickets, and they better look elsewhere.  Indonesia then sent samples from the suspected Bali H5N1 cluster cases that occurred in rapid-fire fashion in August, 2007.  But the government abruptly stopped again when they learned American Idol had been over since May, and Jordin Sparks had won.  They really liked that beat-box dude.

Of course, let us not forget the reason why the Bali samples were sent:  The December 2007 Global Warming Summit was coming to Bali, and with all those world leaders coming down, they didn't want Bali to be Ground Zero of the Next Pandemic.  So the Indonesian government lifted their self-imposed insanity -- er, moratorium -- and sent two samples (big deal) to the WHO.  When it became apparent that the Next pandemic would not start during the Summit, however, they returned to their pattern of withholding samples. 

So why the sudden and dramatic turnaround in governmental attitude?  Why is Indonesia now sharing H5N1 samples? Usually it means somebody wants something that is of greater value than what they possess.  According to Reuters, that "something" is the ironclad assurance that Indonesians will get vaccine by the thousands of liters if their sample turns out to be The Trigger of the Next Pandemic.

But I have my own theories.  Here they are:

1.  They saw that the current Northern Hemisphere vaccine protects against seasonal flu as well as it does against falling debris from a dead spy satellite, and they knew they were doomed anyway, so what the Hell?

2.  They believed the US gave Fidel Castro bird flu, and that is why he is too weak to govern, and they didn't want to wind up the same way old Fidel did.

3.  They did get those Idol tix from Fox!  Plus Supari gets to sing on the Season Finale.  With Blake Lewis. And Simon will be gagged.

Of course, none of these are the correct answer.  She will sing and dance with Paula Abdul. 

Seriously, what is clearly going on is this:  Indonesia has lost the handle completely on containment of H5N1.  As we all know, the disease is endemic in poultry, wild birds, pigs, cats, dogs, and possibly even certain villagers.  They also know -- or suspect --  their deal with Baxter is insufficient to protect the entire country from the disease.  So they have successfully negotiated a settlement with the WHO, and I am betting a good deal of that settlement was financially brokered by the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.  That is entirely speculative on my part, but it took someone with access to incredibly deep pockets to financially back that agreement, and the only entity that I am aware of with that kind of financial clout is the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. Senator Barack Obama's presidential campaign comes a close second, but they are too busy trying to fend off the "other Bill," as the prospective First Philanderer tries to buy Democrat delegate support even as Obama wins them.  It's the American Way!

But I gleefully digress.  Indonesia is throwing in the towel, and I strongly suspect they know something we don't.  Their people must have performed their own calculus and determined that H5N1 is beyond their capabilities, maybe even Baxter's, to solve.  So they have turned back to the WHO and the UN for help. 

Why in God's name they ever thought the US was capable of manufacturing a bird flu biological weapon is beyond me.  We can't even get a platinum record from a recent Idol winner.